Hi Everyone,
My post today will deal with why I wrote this book and how I found a publisher.
I think this particular post will be an encouragement for those of you who have either thought about writing a book, have an idea for a book, or have a half finished manuscript lying around in a drawer some place.
However, there is the matter of Duke. What can I say? I am a proud, gushing new parent to a 12 week old chocolate lab. He does not eat 3 meals a day – he INHALES 3 meals a day.
As for the book.
I wrote this book almost 5 years ago. Once I decided I was definitely going to write a book, I set about learning what it takes to publish a memior. I went to Barnes and Noble and picked out a few books on the subject. I did not concern myself with who is going to publish this once I write something. My focus was on just writing a book. “Write what you know” became my new mantra. I answered two questions to myself before I even began the book. WHY are you writing a book, and WHO are you writing it for?
My answers:
WHY?
I wanted to write the book that I would have given anything to be able to get my hands on in the first 3 years of my recovery. Keep in mind, this happened to me 14 years ago – at that time, there was nothing on the market from the Wife’s point of view. The sex addict got all the attention and the spouse seemed to be treated almost as an afterthought. I did not write it to “get back at” or embarrass my husband. Far from it. Those of you who know me and my family now – know that our marriage is a stable, mutually supportive and loving relationship. The kind of marriage I should have had since the day I got married.
WHO ARE YOU WRITING FOR?
First and foremost, this book is written to the woman who has no idea what sex addiction is and what the world of recovery and healing is all about. I want no woman to go through what I did. I struggled for over 3 years BY MY SELF – never having the opportunity to come face to face with another woman who had not only stayed married, but was in a healthy, loving relationship to boot.
Second, I have great women friends in all areas of recovery, from the traditional groups like AA, AL-Anon, SA (sex addiction for women), S-Anon, (spouses and family members of sex addicts) – to other recovery groups like Grief Share, Breast Cancer Survivors, Domestic Violence, the list goes on and on. I have realized through my friendships with these women, that alot of us can identify with betrayal, loss, grief, resentment, motherhood, anger and fear. We just may come to these feelings and challenges differently. My book addresses all of the above struggles a woman may face, and more.
Third, I have written a book that will help friends and family members of someone going through this understand the struggle. What your sister, mother, or girlfriend could be experiencing.
Once I identified my target audience, the rest was easy.
I went through all my journals, one by one, and transcribed them on a legal pad. I picked only the entries out that were relevant to sexual addiction/therapy/ emotional growth/healing. I used about 2/3 of the material and discarded the rest. My first journal is below. I carried this journal everywhere I went.
Once I wrote down all the relevant journal entries I thought women might identify with, I put them in chronological order and started to write the back ground. I had some major gaps to fill in as I did not journal everyday, and some of the material was redundant. Once I finished working with a journal, I would wrap it up with rawhide. That way, I knew I had gone through it diligently.
Then, there were more.
Once I had 50 solid pages of manuscript, I called my ex-therapist, Harold Brown, and invited him to lunch. I asked him to read what I had written and tell me if he would recommend this type of book to women in his practice.
About 2 weeks later, we had lunch again. He gave me the name of a publisher that he had just heard about, having recently returned from a recovery conference in Arizona. He said, ” Look her address up on the internet. Good Luck!”
That is all I needed to hear. I couldn’t wait to get home and Google the publisher’s name. I found the web site and entered my contact information and pressed “send.”
It came back in error. So, I tried it again. It came back in error again.
In frustration, I picked up the phone and called the contact number on the screen.
The person answering the phone asked me who I wanted to speak to. Not thinking there was any chance to speak to the PUBLISHER, I said, well,” my name is Maurita Corcoran, she doesn’t know me , but I would like to speak to Liz Richards. (not her real name.) I thought the receptionist would just take a message – instead, she said, “hold on, I will put you through.” I was totally taken a back by that. Who calls a publishers’ office and get’s to talk directly to the Publisher?
I was nervous at first but as the conversation progressed, I felt more confident. I told her what I wanted. To have a professional look at what I had written and if it was good enough to be published. Liz was very kind that day. She told me to send her a cover letter, chapter outline, and the first 3 chapters. She would be happy to let me know what she thought of the manuscript, what was lacking, and where I could possibly go from there.
I was thrilled. I made copies of what I had to send Liz and mailed it to her express mail, the very next day. I will never forget the minute I put those first couple of chapters in the mailbox. I stood over it for a moment or two and said a silent prayer. I slowly put the package in the mail slot and heard it drop into the box. I stood for a minute and smiled to myself. Boy have I come a long way. I was not so much expecting anything really positive in return from this first contact to a publisher – but just knowing that I believed in my self enough just to send this partial manuscript out into the world was a great feeling. Those of you who have submitted manuscripts (ms) understand what a fun moment that is.
About a week and a half later, I came home to an empty house and a blinking light on my answering machine. I held my breath and heard the following message:
“This message is for Maurita Corcoran. My name is Liz Richards from Gentle Path Press and I am sitting here with my editor. We love your book and we would like to publish it. Can you please call us back? Thank you. ”
I was absolutely stunned! I played it over and over, jumping up and down, screaming in excitement.
Rates as one of the best days of my life.
I called Liz back and she put me on her speaker phone so her editor could join the conversation. Liz said that my manuscript was one of the best she had seen in a year and that I was a good writer! They said it was a “page-turner” and that they couldn’t wait to see the rest of what I had written. They requested that I send them the rest of the book as soon as possible and then they would get back to me.
I have to say, I was just so thrilled.
I realize that what happened to me that day is certainly not the norm in the writing and publishing world. From talking to other authors and writers, it is almost unheard of, especially when it happens to an unknown, first time writer. Here is why I think it happened the way it did.
God has his hand all over this project. Pure and simple.
Enjoy the weekend.